Thursday, April 03, 2008

So the trees are all in bloom, but the past few days have been cold and rainy. My husband and I have been having bread baking competitions, so as I wait for my loaf to come out of the oven, I will write a bit. (If there is anything better than the sound of the rain outside and the smell of rosemary bread filling the house, I don't know what it is...)

I feel like I am coming out of a place where a large part of me has been dormant, even depressed, and I can't wait to get started making new things. I am only DAYS away! Yesterday and most of today were spent doing the last bit of my taxes. I will be embroidering late tonight, while simultaneously dying the velvet that will go behind the hair embroidery doily.

Going from teaching two days a week (and meetings, grad students, grad student crits, etc.) to working full time and trying to make a living at it has been a difficult transition. I am still figuring out how to make some things work, and, in the process, I am learning a great deal about myself. For instance, I am not of the temperament that allows me to make things that I feel I am SUPPOSED to make. It feels like torture. Also, it is almost impossible for me to make something if it is not challenging: if I am not doing something that is difficult, that pushes some aspect of the work a little bit further, or tries something I have not tried before, it is not really worth doing.

One of the things I am looking forward to is making some pieces that will resolve themselves in a matter of days, as opposed to months... an opportunity to play with some materials and mixing media in a way I have only touched upon before. I want to jump forward to next week. I am so excited about making this new work that my fatalistic side was terrified I was destined to die on this last roadtrip, because I was so afraid of not ever having the opportunity to make the new work. Hmmm......

There's the bread buzzer... wish I could send you some.... warm, with good olive oil.


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